Ronnie grabbed her hand. “Come on, he’s over there!” He pointed and practically dragged Miss Glo and her wheel chair in that direction.
Ian was dressed in a blue double-breasted suit, Miss Glo recognized Bill Blass when she saw it. He was standing beside the curt women who hosted the morning program on HRT. Gloria didn’t watch it because she just didn’t care for her at all. She reminded her of a constipated nun with no sense of humor and not happy about it. She couldn’t believe she was actually going to watch it live.
She had thought about faking a seizure, but being anywhere near these people was so much better than being in that nursing home. She longed for the day she could leave it entirely. Damn that Ian Justyn, he’d given her a reason to get up in the morning, even though half of her body would never get up again.
Ian saw them approaching and lit up.
“Hey buddy.” Ian bent down and gave his son a hug and a kiss. “Do you remember Miss Gleason?” He asked him.
“Yes.” Ronnie said as if rehearsed. “It is so good to see you again, ma’am.” The lady stretched a half second smile and turned her head away.
“Morning dew on my nose damn it!” She put her hands on her hips. “Make up, I said fucking morning dew!” And stomped off.
“Morning dew to you, too.” Ronnie mocked and rolled his eyes.
Ripley, never far way from Ian, stifled a smile but smacked the kid lightly on the back of the head.
“Sorry, Uncle Ripley, but she’s just not a nice person.” Ronnie got excited. “Papa, papa…” he grabbed Miss Glo’s hand. “Look who’s come to watch you.”
Ian smiled and bent down to kiss Miss Glo’s good hand. “Miss Glo, I’m so honored you came.”
“Bite…me…” She said as half her face smiled. “Hate…show…”
“Which is why I’m glad you’re here.” He stayed at her eye level. “I’ve taken great pains to fill the live audience with people who think the show sucks.”
“Are you gonna sit with us, Papa?” Ronnie bounced from beside the chair.
“Once we get the show going I’ll do my best, Puppy. I’ll be bouncing around a lot. This is a big day for me. I am so glad you are both here though.” He kissed his son on the top of the head.
“Miss Claire’s already in her seat.”
“Tell her thank you for me and I’ll try to get out during one of the commercial breaks. Ripley, why don’t you go keep m’seat warm?”
“Are you sure?” He asked as Ronnie took his hand.
“Please, no need for you to stand around and wonder if I’m going to hyperventilate.”
Obviously not wanting to leave the man’s side, Ripley nodded his head anyway. “Com’mon then. Miss Glo, do you need some help?”
The woman deftly wrapped a finger around a lever and the wheelchair smoothly backed up. “Do…good.”
Zaundra Gleason bellowed. “Damn it Ian, get your ass over here…NOW!”
Ian rolled his eyes and started toward the pseudo-atomic blast. Miss Glo’s wheelchair suddenly whipped around and blocked him. He almost lost his balance and had to catch himself on the arms of her chair.
“Miss Glo?”
She looked him right in the eyes easily since now they were literally eye to eye. “You…good?”
“I’m fine.” He couldn’t help but read the concern in her eyes. “Honestly. I’ve checked my sugar and feeling better than I have in actually….years. I honestly didn’t know how bad I felt until I felt good again.”
Ian kissed her fingers and touched her face. Her eyes smiled despite the frown on the half of her face that worked.
“Justyn…fucking NOW!”
“Fire…her…” With that, Miss Glo was off on her mechanical way.
Ian watched her disappear. He took a deep breath and calmly strolled over to a steaming Zaundra Gleason. “Zaundra, watch your mouth.”
“Shut the fuck up…” she snarled. “We have a problem.”
“You just got a fine.” Ian looked at Wella who was standing there with a clipboard. “$250 from the bitch’s paycheck…make that $150…” he turned back to Zaundra. “And what is the problem now?”
“Senator Bellson is stuck in traffic. We have to rearrange.”
“That’s not a problem. We’ll do the Tippy intro first and….” Looking at the clipboard and where Wella was pointing on it. “…Yeah I like that, a quick headline recap at the top of every hour instead of ten minutes after then go right to the cooking sequence. We’ll clip along as planned, plugging the senator in when he arrives.”
“I don’t like that…I will not start the day with an asinine segment of an over the hill Miss America teaching people how to make cheesecake!” she snapped.
“That’s the way it’s going to be Zaundra…and before you open your mouth I don’t care if you don’t like it, suck it up and do it!” Ian calmly looked at the diva. “And let me remind you, your new contract doesn’t kick in until the camera hits your face. One more outburst and not only will that contract be null and void but I’ll see to it your face hits the camera on the way out.”
“Places people! We are rolling credits in five…four…three…” and the music started.
Tippy slipped up behind Ian and kissed him on the back of the neck. “Pearce is on the set, you ready Baby Doll?”
“Who gives a shit about him?” Zaundra whispered. “Tuck that cleavage in. You look like a whore.”
“That does it.” Ian motioned for the stage manager as the new theme music reached a crescendo. “Dougie, get this woman off my set.”
“You can’t do that, I’m about to go on.” Zaundra said.
“Not any more…you’re fired!” Zaundra’s eyes got huge. “Get her off this property, in her own words…now!”
Dougie grabbed Zaundra by the arm and lead her away, Zaundra quietly protesting. Ian turned to Tippy “Congrats, Miss America, you just got a job…”
“Huh?” she said
The audience was applauding and the director pointed at Pearce who said, “And welcome to “America Alive!” this morning from the heart of Hollywood where legends are born and never die.”
More applause. “I’m Pearce Warner, I’ll be with you this and every morning for the months to come. Won’t you join me in welcoming my co-host…” Pearce was rattled a minute as he read the cue card being shaken from behind the camera… “Tippy Shores!”
The audience, mostly friends and neighbors roared. Tippy turned to Ian. “Baby Doll, I’m taking you down with me…” she grabbed Ian’s arm and pulled him out in front of the camera with her as she graciously walked to the chairs beside Pearce, Ian trying to not look like a deer in the headlights.
“Thank you so much, and may I have the privilege of introducing the man behind it all, he’ll be here all week with us…” she lowered her voice slightly “…or I’ll kill him…” the audience howled, “Ian Justyn.”
Ian just smiled and held out a chair for Tippy to be seated in. He knew he wasn’t mic’d as well as he knew there would be ninety seconds of banter and then a cut to the first pre taped tour. Tippy and Pearce actually seemed to connect. Ian was thunderstruck. Suddenly he felt Tippy grab him by the tie. “At least say hello, Baby Doll…”
“No mic…” He said.
She pulled him over at the waist and hoisted her mic’d boobs toward him. “Now say something.”
“Good morning from the mountains?” The audience howled and Pearce almost fell off his chair laughing.
Tippy fluffed her hair and looked poised. “Some one get this man a chair…and pull it real close to me...” she changed the position of her face to the camera that now had the green light. “Now that we’re all charged up, let’s start the morning off with a little peek at some of the homes and legends right here on the street we are broadcasting from.”
“We are live all week long from Tippy’s own back yard, once the home of the legendary Darla Hutton…”
“Actually Pearce, that’s incorrect. This was actually the home of James Redfield, most of the original structure that Darla and husband Oscar winning director David Turner shared is next door. Let’s take a look as I get a lesson in what really happened in my own backyard from 1930 to 1960.”
“And we’re out…” the director called. “We’ve got 5 and then another 90 second tease before first break.
The audience applauded and Pearce laughed his ass off while someone feverishly started clipping a lavaliere on Ian. Ian slipped an earplug in. “Stan? Kill any part of the teasers with Zaundra…I don’t care throw holy water on them, she’s gone…”
Tippy turned to Pearce. “Threw a few hissy fits and he fired her.”
“I told her not to mess with him…” Pearce said.
“I’m afraid I’m it for now, Sugar, so let’s just relax and have some fun.” Tippy smiled. She waved at Ronnie who waved back and threw her a kiss.
Ian stuck his finger on the earplug. “Stan, kill the teasers all together, just get shots of the audience and the action…yeah, remind ‘em that we’re live, just point at anything fun, or interesting…”
“Or hot…” Tippy added.
It seemed like the shortest five minutes in history, people running around adjusting lights and angles to include a third unexpected body on the set. The live audience seemed glued to the monitor running the tour piece.
“And we’re back.”
Pearce smiled at the camera. “We’re going to take a short break and then Tippy is going to show the bachelor here how to make a simple but tasty cheesecake.”
“Mmmm…chocolate…” she smiled.
Ian jumped in “And later in the hour, Senator Harlan Bellson will be here…”
“Traffic permitting…” Tippy added.
“Traffic permitting…to talk about his candidacy for the office of President of the United States.”
“We’re playing it by ear today folks, so come back at watch us all have nervous breakdowns!” Tippy grinned with energy.
Pearce broke up again. “God, I love this gig. Come on back as soon as you can…”
“And clear…”
Pearce got up and kissed Tippy on the cheek. “I love you…okay I’m over here you’re over there.”
“Gotcha…” Tippy grabbed Ian by the arm. “You, my favorite hunk, you’re with me.”
As Pearce passed by Ian he whispered in his ear. “She’s a keeper…please please please!” And went over to the area they had set up for news.
“Hey…” as he realized Tippy was dragging him over to the kitchen area. “I’m just the decoration…”
“And you’re very pretty, but I need you here…” she said.
“Tippy you’ve done this before...”
“But I’ve never done this…” and she pointed to the ingredients on the counter. “This is your specialty...you let me be the hostess and teach me how to do it.”
“Tippy, you’ve….”
“Two words…Zaundra Gleason…” she glared at him.
“You’ll make her look positively charming, won’t you?”
She smiled and pinched his cheek. “You’re so smart.”
“And we’re back!”
“Just to keep the fun going I have a special treat for you.” Tippy smiled. “Ian, take off your clothes…”
Ian started undoing his tie. The audience and the crew cheered. They could hear Pearce cracking up across the patio. Tippy helped him take his jacket off. “That’s enough Baby Doll; we’ll save the rest when we need the big ratings.”
“You’re no fun!”
“Yes I am…oh I forgot there were people watching. Where were we? Oh yes…” Tippy giggled. “Now I have a houseful of boys, so it’s seems that I’ve been stuck with all the cooking…”
“Or Inez has…” Ian threw in.
Tippy hit him playfully with a wooden spoon, “…so I was thrilled when this hot little number moved in next door and preceded to cook us all under the table. Ladies, he’s single, good lookin and can cook…”
“…And not half bad in the kitchen.” More cheers came from the audience.
“So we’re going to let him show us his specialty…”
“Tippy, please.” Ian feigned embarrassment. “This is network television, not cable.”
“…Dark chocolate cheesecake.”
“It’s actually very simple and easy. Guys you can impress anyone with this…”
“Believe me, it’s a culinary orgasm…” Tippy smiled and then put her hand to her mouth. “Oh shit, can you say orgasm on live morning television?”
“Yes…but you can’t say oh shit….”
It was that moment Ian was thankful for the five-second delay and knew the world had fallen in love with Tippy Shores, all over again. The rest of the program went of with only one other hitch. Just as the Senator was arriving Pearce ran off for a potty break and accidentally locked himself in a closet.
Tippy was informed on the air and cracked, “In the closet? I thought that door got thrown open a couple of years ago” and then introduced the Senator. The director panicked and urged Ian to go sit in and do the interview, but Ian had confidence in Tippy.
At first the Senator treated her like a dumb Miss America, but she soon had him impressed with her intelligence, grilling him on important issues and not letting him off the hook until he gave a straight forward answer that “we normal people can understand and accept.”
She even asked him if he had been affected by the war. He hemmed and hawed finally telling her that she wouldn’t understand. Tippy charmingly disemboweled him on the air, telling him that her son had served on the front lines and been given two purple hearts so never to assume that she wouldn’t understand.
Tippy then ended the interview by telling him that he was very assumptive and wanted to know if he thought that was a good qualification for President. She ended the interview with a humble thank you and patting him on the knee, telling him sweetly he had a “lot of work to do” and tossed it to commercial.
The Senator was outraged and demanded her termination. Ian simply thanked him for the interview and told him in the future he should be more careful whom he thought was a dumb broad before he made as ass of himself on national television.
When the last “We’re clear” came through there were cheers everywhere. The trio of Pearce, Tippy and Ian were relieved, laughing and patting each other on the back. Ian’s phone rang almost immediately with a call from David Turner who told him that the phones had been jammed with viewers gushing at how much they loved the new format. It was a shock to what they were used to, but so much more fun and energetic than what they were used to watching.
By the time he got off the phone to tell the crew, Tippy, Pearce and company were already replanning the next day. Ian tossed out “Looks like we’re a hit” and promptly called legal to send down a contract for Tippy.
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