And she was right. Ian found Clare on one end of the couch silent; Ralphie at the other. Both of them were staring unmoving as though daring the other to blink. “You two sharing a Vulcan mind meld?”
“I think he’s plotting to eat my brain.” Clare said, refusing to blink.
“No, that would be Rodie. Ralphie’s just probably trying to figure out how to get to the other end of the couch to lick your face without the shift in weight killing you both.”
“Har Har.” Clare looked up at him.
“Sorry, that was mean.” Ian walked to stand over Clare and kissed the top of her head. “Ralphie’s not that huge.”
Clare smacked at him and Ian began to rub her shoulders. “Oh, that feels soooo good.”
“Are you feeling okay?”
“Ian, I know I sound like a broken record but I am so miserable. My back hurts. My feet are swollen and a catheter could make me stop peeing. Let me just clue you in Ian, next time you wanna have kids…you get pregnant and see how you like it.”
“Let’s not go there.”
“Gladly.”
“Dinner will be ready in a few.” Ian didn’t stop rubbing her shoulders. “We’re going to look at the house plans and figure out where to build the nursery afterwards. I assume you want to help make that decision.”
“Frankly, Ian, I’ll leave that up to you guys.”
Ian stopped in mid-rub. “You’re kidding? How did you get in Clare’s body and what planet are you from?”
Clare attempted to look at him, until he finally sat lightly on the arm of the sofa beside her. “Honestly, Ian. This sounds awful, but at this point I don’t care where the nursery is as long as one of these babies isn’t sleeping on my bladder and the other on my intestines.”
“That’s just a lovely picture, thank you.”
“You want Happy Pregnant Lady? Watch “I Love Lucy”, cause in the real world at this stage of the game we’re all miserable and want everyone else to be as well, especially the bastards who knock us up.”
Ian smiled and nodded. “Once again, lovely pictures, just lovely. I think I’ll just mosey into the den. I’m suddenly feeling the need to protect my testicles.”
“Probably a very good idea.”
Ian backed slowly toward the den.
Ralphie, determined to see everyone happy shyly slipped toward Clare but was immediately frozen in mid-stride as Clare barked, “That tongue comes anywhere near my side of the couch and you lose it!”
“Uhm, Ralphie, you’d better come with me.” The dog wasted no time joining Ian in backing out of the living room.
“Rodie?” Ian called out. “Clare wants to see you on the living room sofa!”
“What?” Came a voice from inside his den.
“Nothing.” He said as he and Ralphie entered the room. “Remind me to give Ripley a raise. Putting up with Clare all day can’t be worth what I’m paying him.”
Billy looked up from the desk, Jude looking over his shoulder and Reese not far away at the bookcase. “Maybe we should just lock her in the garage until she gives birth.”
“There’s a good idea.” Ian smiled.
“Nah.” Jude looked up from the blueprints. “She’d jes’ scratch up yer paint job and eat the fenders.”
“Probably.” Ian looked down at the renderings from his side of the desk. “What have we got here?”
Billy pointed. “Well, these are the plans for the house as it currently stands. See, first floor…” He flipped the page. “Second floor. Everything is sound and supported enough to knock out almost any wall you choose.”
“You’ll prob’ly have to give up some closet space ‘er a bathroom, but you kin’ put it enny where ya want.”
Ian rubbed his hands together. “Okay, let’s have a look.”
The trio parted for Ian to take the seat Billy had been occupying behind the desk. “What are those?” He asked.
“Oh those, are the plans for the house before Miss Elizabeth did the renovations.” Reese informed him.
“We wanted to double check both sets to make sure nothing from the original structure would be weakened by any changes you want to make.” Billy said. “We keep forgetting this house is actually very old and only part of the original house.”
Ian nodded and reached for the second set of blueprints. He flipped a few pages and then went back to the set before him and looked again. “I’m confused.” He held up one set of blueprints. “These are the plans for the Hutton Mansion?”
“No, no.” Billy smiled. “Those are here.” Low and behold, Billy produced a cardboard roll from a chair and pulled out yet another set of plans. Rolling them out he pointed as he explained.
“See, this was the original lay out.”
“Holy smokes, that was huge!” Ian was shocked. “Even for way back then, it was huge!”
“That stone wall in your back yard was the foundation for the back wing. According to these there were three wings connected. This is the only wing that survived the fire.”
Ian looked up at him from the plans. “Back wing? I thought Kellen’s house was part of the original structure.”
“No.” Reese piped in. “Didn’t you pay attention when you were on ‘America Alive’? Kellen’s house was a guesthouse on the property. I think they used it as servant’s quarters.”
“An’ that Redfield feller lived in yer house?” Jude asked.
“No.” Reese corrected him. “James Redfield lived in the house that is now the apartments at the end of the cul-de-sac. David Turner lived in my house.”
“Turner?” Jude shot one eye open a little further. “I thought him and the Darla woman was married.”
“They were.” Ian said looking intently at the plans.
“Then why’d he live in another house?”
Reese looked at Billy and Billy looked at Reese. “Uhhh…”
“Never mind that.” Ian waved they’re attention back. “I’m really confused. You say these in front of me are the plans as the house stands now.”
“Yes.”
“You’re sure?”
Billy nodded. “Absolutely.”
“’Kay…” Ian looked at the second set of plans. “Got a question, then. What the heck did Elizabeth Elysian do to the house?”
“What?”
Ian pointed to the first page. “I can see she added the spiral staircase in the center of the first floor.”
“Yes.” Billy looked over Ian’s shoulder and checked them against the plans before the renovations. “There was a simple staircase and first floor landing. She put in the spiral with the mid-level landing. See? Not much else was done to the first floor, all the drastic changes were made to the second.”
Ian nodded his head. “Am I just reading the what you call it wrong? The little key in the corner here that tells you a quarter inch equals a foot?”
“No, that’s right.” Billy said.
“Hmmm…” Ian looked back at the prints in front of him and back to the pre-renovation set in Billy’s hands. Finally laying them side by side. “It looks to me like the second floor used to be a whole lot bigger.”
“What?”
“Look.”
Billy and Jude examined both sets of blueprints closely. “Huh. Reese, do you know anything about this?”
“About what?”
“The outer perimeters of the house match up.” Ian pointed out, but the second floor…some of it seems to be missing.”
“What?” Reese leaned in to take a look.
“Maybe it’s like Doctor Who’s Tardis only my house is the opposite, bigger on the outside and smaller on the inside.”
“Huh?”
“According to the current plans the only thing on the second floor is my bedroom, the walk-in and the hot tub off the side.” Ian told him.
“That’s right.” Reese confirmed.
“But look at the old plans.” Billy said.
“Half of it is missing.” Ian and Billy looked at Reese. “What did Miss Elizabeth do with the rest of the second floor?”
“Uh…Ian, son….” Jude interrupted. “…and we may as well ask ‘im, bout this, too.”
“What?”
Jude pointed to the key, licked his finger and split apart another page to the old plans that were stuck together. “I can see mebbe misplacing part of the second floor, Reese, but got any notions as to where the hell the whole third floor went?
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