BOOK ONE: DECEPTIONS
Chapters One to Twenty Six
Vignettes 1 - 140

BOOK TWO: YESTERDAY ECHOES
Chapters 27 to
Vignettes 141 -

Monday, February 28, 2011

Vignette #160: Party Games

Ian poked something gloppy and brown, not resembling anything edible yet there it was on his lunch plate. He shoved it with his fork. As it sort of deflated and ran, he looked up to heaven. “Please Lord, let me go home soon…”

“It can’t be that bad.” Dr. Hunter was suddenly standing beside the bed. He looked at Ian’s plate. “I have no idea what that’s supposed to be.”

“If I eat it and don’t throw up, can I go home?” Ian begged. “They give criminals time off for good behavior.”

“Put away the puppy dog eyes. They won’t work. If you continue to improve at this rapid pace we’ll discuss your going home in a few days.”

“I’ll do almost anything to go back home and back to work.” Ian drained his cup and decided to avoid the muck on his plate.

“Like we’ve been able to stop you from working, but the arrangements you made seem to be working out fine. We’ll keep it that way for a while longer. Your physical therapist wants to start you on hydrotherapy. Do you have access to a pool?”

“You mean like the one my best friend was floating in after he was shot?”

“Yes, just like that one.” Dr. Hunter Smiled. “I keep forgetting you lived a sort of ‘Sunset Boulevard’.”

“The film or the stage musical?”

“I prefer the film myself. The wife preferred the musical.”

“I didn’t know you were married.” Ian tried to make small talk so the doctor wouldn’t notice him hiding his lunch. “I’d love to meet her.”

“I’ll give you her number. She’s living in Bermuda somewhere with half of everything I own, working hard on getting the other half from her current husband.”

“Ouch…”

“Did that sound bitter?” Dr. Hunter took the napkin off Ian’s food tray, scooted it right back to him and handed him a fork. “If you want to go home you need to eat your meals.”

Ian looked back down at it, sighed and stuck the fork in it. “Can I call Tippy and have her bring me some lunch?”

“What’s wrong with…that?”

“You tell me what it is and I’ll eat it.” Ian looked at the food tray and then back up to Dr. Hunter. “I’m from the South, we’ll eat anything as long as someone can identify it.”

“Well it’s brown…” Hunter examined it.

“So are most body parts when heated.”

“It’s…liver…it has to be liver.”

“Why does it have to be liver? Is a transplant missing?” Ian asked.

“Uhh…”

“Look, I’ve got a really great appetite. I just haven’t been able to get down most of the stuff the hospital serves. There are workers converging on my house at this very moment to fix everything. I’m sure my son or someone will be arriving any minute with some real food, something edible and not loaded with salt.”

“You haven’t been eating any of the meals you’ve been served?”

“Dr. Hunter the meals here are more of a party game than a dining experience.”

“Party game?”

“We all put a dollar in the bed pan and try to guess what’s on the plate. When the orderly picks up the tray we ask what it was and the closest guess wins the pot. I won $8 yesterday. I guessed pudding, everyone else thought it was some sort of spaghetti.”

Dr Hunter rolled the table with the tray away. “Maybe I should have a conversation with the board about the food.”

“At least hide the salt from the people in the kitchen. Just looking at it makes me thirsty.” Ian looked in his cup and back at the doctor. “Hint…hint…?”

“More water?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Ian lifted his cup and indicated the arm that was still immobile. “One of us is still chained down.”

The doctor filled Ian’s cup from the sweating pitcher out of his reach. “Okay, now let’s have a look at this knee of yours…”

Ian lay back on the bed and lifted his hips as Taylor pulled the sweats off and laid them on the chair. He placed a stethoscope on Ian’s knee and listened a moment. “Okay ready?”

“As I’ll ever be…”

Ian winced as the doctor slowly maneuvered the leg in several positions, bending the knee and carefully watching the movement in the thigh. It always brought tears to Ian’s eyes.

“Well, the swelling obviously has gone down, nothing was broken. Are you able to put much weight on it?”

“Not much. It’s still pretty painful and it feels like it wants to give.”

“Once we get you healed we’ll probably need to discuss joint replacement.”

“Joint replacement? Isn’t that for senior citizens and Liza Minnelli? I’m only 29, doc.”

“But somehow, young man, you’ve managed to tear away most of the cartilage around your knee. You’ve got bone on bone. You’ll be able to function, but you’re going to continue to have more and more pain until you let us give you an upgrade.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“It’s up to you, but it’s my recommendation. In the meantime, I’m sure I’ll be sorry for saying this, but I do want you up and moving around more. You going back and forth to the bathroom by yourself?”

“Pretty much…when there is someone around to unhook me.”

“Showering?”

“Oh god, wouldn’t that be nice.”

“Why aren’t you showering?”

“You didn’t tell me I could.” Ian smiled at the doctor. “I don’t do anything I’m not told I can do.”

“Yeah…uh huh.”

“Really.” Ian insisted.

“I don’t recall giving you permission to escape when you were less than 48 hours out of a coma.”

“That was an emergency.” Ian pouted. “And you exaggerate. It wasn’t a coma, I was just bored senseless from being in the hospital.”

“Whatever…” The doctor made a notation on Ian’s chart. “I’m sure I told someone it was fine for you to shower.”

“Either you didn’t or the nurses here just love giving me sponge baths.”

“We won’t go there.”

“Good.”

“I’ve made a note on your chart and before I leave the floor I’ll tell the nurse on duty that you may shower.”

“On my own?”

“Did you want to invite a friend?”

“Not really.”

“I’m not going to guarantee you’ll be able to do it on your own, but give it a shot…with an orderly standing by. The last thing we need is for you to lose your balance, slip or fall.”

“Thank you. I haven’t washed my hair in two weeks. You could fry pork on my scalp!”

“I’m sure we can get that taken care of…”

“Nice underwear!” They both turned in the direction of the door. “I take I got here just in time for Naked Time?” Jeremy Tyson was grinning from ear to ear.

“Who keeps letting the peeper in?”

“How’s he doing, doc?” Jeremy asked as Dr. Hunter helped Ian get his sweats back on.

“Very well, hopefully we’ll be sending him home—with reservations---soon.”

“He can stay with Susan and I for a while. We’ll wait on him hand and foot, keep him out of trouble.”

“And I told you, no offense, I just want to go home. I’ll be fine. Ronnie can keep me out of trouble, and you know good and well the Shores will be no further away than, well, just far enough away that I won’t be able to swat them. You all are welcome to come and visit, and I am dying to see the boys. The look on the cat’s face when they show up will be a big plus. Please understand, I just want to be in my own home.”

“We do, but the offer stands, even if you go home for a few days and then want to come by for a while. Besides, you’ve got Susan all fired up about this project. I need something to keep me occupied…you can be my project.”

“Get a real job, dude.” Ian snarked. “I’m tired of being everyone’s project. I just wanna go home, be with my boy and let his cat terrorize me.”

“Regardless when we release you to go home, you will need to be under adult supervision.” Dr. Hunter informed Ian.

Jeremy choked back a laugh.

“Hey!” Ian reminded him. “I only have one arm immobilized now, but I know lots of really good sign language I can do with my free one.”

“I meant that having your son around will be great, but you are still going to need help. As wonderful as your boy may be, I’m sure he can’t keep you from doing things your not supposed to be doing.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ian wanted to know.

“It means he’s got your number.” Jeremy laughed.

“I’ve got one arm and a leg still useless and without a cane I’m pretty much doomed to walking in a circle. How much trouble can I get in?”

Dr. Hunter put his hands up in the air. “Mr. Justyn, you do not even want to tempt me to go there. Remember, if you’re good and continue to improve you’ll go home in a couple of days, provided I feel there will be someone around who will keep you out of trouble otherwise I’ll keep you tethered to that bed until I know you can’t do any more damage to yourself.”

“Fine.” Ian pouted.

“I’m going to go talk to the floor nurse about getting you to the shower.”

“Thank you.”

Dr. Hunter nodded and turned to go. He stopped and picked up the cover on the lunch tray and looked one more time. He reached in his pocket and tossed a dollar on Ian’s bed. “Liver. It has to be liver.”

“Why does it have to be liver?” Ian said, grabbing the single and tossing it in the bedpan on the stand by his bed.

“That’s my guess.” The doctor said and was gone.

“Are you in today?” Ian asked.

Jeremy walked to the tray and looked at it. “Have you tasted it?”

“Like that’s going to be any clue as to what it is.” Ian said. “I think its Jell-O with fruit.”

“It’s brown.” Jeremy looked back at him.

“But there’s chunks of something in it. It has to be Jell-O.” Ian motioned with his free hand to shut the door.

“What?” Jeremy asked.

“Shut the door and open the window. I’m dying for a cigarette.”

“What makes you think I have cigarettes on me?” Jeremy put the lid down on the mystery concoction.

“God only made me look stupid.” Ian smirked. “Now shut the door, open the window and share one with me. Just a puff or two…please, please, please.”

He knew he shouldn’t, but Jeremy shut the room door and walked over to the window and struggled to open in it. “I don’t think it comes open.”

“Yes it does.” Ian insisted. “Tippy had it open yesterday afternoon.”

The door opened and Ripley stuck his head in. “Are you smoking in here?”

“No.” Ian said.

“Then why did you shut the door?”

“Jeremy and I are going out on the ledge to have sex.”

“Cool.” Ripley smirked. “I am just not getting in trouble for letting you smoke again. You know they frisk me now every time I walk in the building?”

Jeremy gave up. “We couldn’t if we wanted to. The window doesn’t open.”

“Yes it does.” Ian insisted.

“You were going to smoke.” Ripley scowled.

“Okay, okay.” Ian admitted. “Jeremy was gonna share one with me, but the weenie can’t get the window open.”

“You have cigarettes on you?” Ripley scowled again.

Jeremy pulled a pack from his pocket. “Reds.”

“I’ll get the window open.” Ripley said. “You open the bathroom door and turn on the exhaust fan.”

“Gimme.” Ian said hungrily as Jeremy rushed to the bathroom and tossed the pack on his bed. He snatched the pack up and struggled to get one out.

“You’ll smash them.” Ripley said having opened the window. He took the pack and slid one out.

Ian put it to his lips and tried to be patient as Jeremy came with his lighter. Ian took a puff and rolled back his eyes. “Mmmm…lunch is good.” He handed it to Jeremy.

“I feel like I’m sharing a joint after the football game.” Ripley giggled as Jeremy handed the smoke to him.

The door came open and Ripley tossed the cigarette out the open window. An extra wide nurse stomped in. “Are you smoking?”

Ian looked at Jeremy and then to the nurse. “Some people think so.”

Jeremy nodded. “They do call him the Hunka Hunka HRT…”

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