Chapter Twenty Four: Morning

Ian had already filled enough chafing dishes to feed an army when Tippy and company arrived. There were buttermilk pancakes, scrambled eggs, link sausages, bacon, and biscuits with red gravy. He was working on frying the last of the ham when the entire work crew just started grabbing plates and pulling up to the table.

“Biscuits and gravy! I’m coming over here for breakfast every morning!” Colton drooled as he heaped a warm plate full. “Inez is a great cook, but Puerto Rico is just a little too Southern when it comes to biscuits and gravy.”

“I’m not finished yet!” Ian complained as the group got in his way.

“Well don’t stop, keep it coming!” Reese said shoving a handful of bacon into his mouth.

“I don’t believe it!” Tippy gushed as she picked up a doughnut from a plate. “You did all this cooking and still managed to run out to Dunkin Donuts.”

“He hasn’t left the house and neither have I”, Billy informed her as he sprinkled grated cheese on his eggs. “Ian you got ketchup?”

“In the fridge…” Ronnie offered. “I’ll get it.”

Tippy’s eyes rolled back in her head and she tasted the powdered delight. “Mmmmm, and this is fresh. I know good and well this didn’t come from that convenience store on the corner. Baby Doll, where did you get these?”

Ian shot her a look and tapped his spatula on a deep fryer still cooling off from a morning’s heat. “The chocolate covered ones are on plate in the fridge.” Ronnie was practically dismembered trying to get ketchup.

“You got some coffee to go with this?” Colton pointed at his well-piled plate.

“I forgot….”

Jesse perked up from his trough position. “You put out a breakfast spread like this and forgot coffee?”

“Ian’s not a coffee drinker…” Billy noted, “Trust me. Don’t ask him to make it.”

“I’ll do it.” Tippy headed toward the coffee maker and searched the counter over for the coffee. She opened the vat and started to reach in to replace the filter.

Ian’s little head spun around. “Do not violate my coffee maker with coffee again, please!” Ian reached under the counter and pulled out a brand new one still in the box. “Do whatever you wish with this one.”

Tippy smiled and began to open the box. “Sorry, Baby Doll,” and hummed on her happy little coffee making way.

“Uhm…” Reese whispered to Billy, “What does he use the coffee maker for if you aren’t allowed to put coffee in it?”

“Tea,” he whispered back like the kid next to him during a test, “He makes tea in it.”

“Holy…” Colton slumped back in his chair. “This is real Virginia Ham.”

“What do you think I made the red eye gravy out of?” Ian asked.

“Where did you get Virginia Ham?” Tippy said, “And don’t you be telling me you slaughtered a pig in the basement and cured it in the garage.”

“Well, no, but I could…I have a basement?” Ian was surprised and curious.

“Yes you have a basement, now where’d ja get the ham?” Tippy demanded.

“Okay, okay….gees…” he pointed to Billy.

“Billy slaughtered a pig and cured it in the basement?” She asked

“No but I could…Ian has a basement? Why haven’t you shown me the basement?” He asked Ian.

“I didn’t know I had one. Miss Elizabeth didn’t tell me about that and I thought she showed me the whole house.”

Reese piped in, “Oh, yeah, I don’t think anyone’s been down there for years. The entrance is off the garage. There used be a door out…”

“Who gives a rat’s ass about the damned basement? Billy where did you get the Virginia ham?” Tippy waved a sharp knife in his direction.

“The Abingdon Virginia Ham Company.”

“Where’s that?”

“Abingdon….”

She slammed the ball of the knife on the table.

He blinked “…Virginia. I bought two as a gift for Ian and smuggled ‘em in my suitcase on the plane. Ian sliced it up and froze the other one.”

Tippy scooted her chair back. “I’ll just check on that coffee now…”

“Tippy…?” Ian didn’t bother looking up from his breakfast.

“Yes, Baby Doll?”

“Get away from the freezer…”

“Oh, honey, I was just going to stick my breasts in there. Colton always likes it when my nipples are perky…”

“Mom….” Jesse rolled his eyes, “We’re eating…”

Ian threatened, “I am not above sticking my hands in your brassiere and checking for ham.”

Tippy feigned insult, putting her hand to her chest bone. “Why Ian Justyn…I…” she thought for a second and smiled, “why I no longer need to put my breasts in the freezer. Nipples quite perky, thank you, Baby Doll.”

“Oh god…” Jesse picked up his plate, returning momentarily for the plate of chocolate doughnuts and retreated outside by the pool.

Seeing the spot finally vacated, Tippy took her plate and nestled right in next to Billy. Ian watched her exercising as much control as she possibly could. He was finding it highly entertaining.

“Sugar Plum, those flowers we planted yesterday look so nice. This will be the prettiest backyard in the whole neighborhood.” Tippy smiled. “Don’t you think so Billy?”

Billy mouth was full of pancake. He just smiled and nodded his stuffed cheeks.

“You know I think it might be fun to have a garden.” Tippy shoved Billy’s shoulder a little. “We haven’t had a garden in years, but it would be fun, I think. Don’t you?”

Once again, Billy was in mid chew. He’d tried to communicate through facial expressions. Ronnie started giggling.

“Now, Tippy.” Colton chided her. “Where would you even put a garden?”

“We could find a place. Ian wants to take that wall down. Maybe he’d let Ronnie and I put out it there.” Tippy turned to the chewer. “What do you think? Wouldn’t that be a nice place for a garden?”

Billy tried hard to swallow a mouthful of pancakes. He choked and reached for his water.

Tippy looked at Billy. “Honey, you’re going to have to learn to get more in your mouth than that before you start choking. I’m Reese’s mother. I’ve seen him naked.”

Billy spit water and half chewed pancake all over the table.

“Mom!” Reese grabbed a towel and tried to help clean up the mess.

“What?” Tippy stood and took the roll of paper towels Ian handed her.

“Ew!” Ronnie said. “Billy barfed in my plate.”

“It’s okay, Puppy.” Ian was trying his best to keep a straight face, and handed his son a clean plate. “Let me have that one I’ll put it in the dishwasher.”

“Mrs. Shores…” Billy finally choked out. Ian secretly wondered if his buddy’s face would ever be anything but a shade of violet again.

“Now, Billyboy. The Mrs. thing will never do. Here, honey, have some more water.” She handed a glass and made him drink. “Better?”

Billy nodded his head and tried to wet the rags he’d just made of his throat.

“Why don’t you just call me Mom?” She said causing Billy to choke some more. “Honey, is there something wrong? Do I need to call a doctor?”

“Tippy, I think it’s your timing.” Ian, as much as he was enjoying it, he had to finally admit.

She looked up innocent. Colton finally looked at her. “Now Tippy, let the poor boy finish his breakfast, before you kill him and make us all have to take a shower again.”

Ronnie looked up at Ian. “I’m not sure what this is all about, but it’s kinda fun.” He whispered.

Reese leaned over and whispered. “You won’t think so when you bring you’re first girlfriend home to meet the family.”

Ronnie looked at Reese. “Is Uncle Billy your girlfriend?” That stopped the show.

Ian looked at Tippy. “You opened this can of worms…”

“Not a problem.” Tippy smiled and leaned toward Ronnie. “You see, Sugar Plum sometimes two men…”

“Stop!” Billy cried out. “Yes, Ronnie. The answer to your question is yes. Do you understand?”

“Sure.” He smiled. “But it’s so much fun tryin’ to make you adults figure out what to say.” He looked at his father. “Can I go outside now?”

“Yes, but take the rest of your milk and finish it.”

“’Kay…” He picked up his glass and nonchalantly went out side. The table watched him go. As soon as the door shut everyone looked back at Tippy.

“What?” She said, spearing some Virginia Ham from Colton’s plate. “I think that went well, don’t you all?”

Ian laughed and turned back to his cooking. Colt stole his ham back. Reese looked at Billy and said. “Welcome to the family.”

“She’s tagged you with a nickname…Billyboy. You are stuck with us now.” Ian said lighting a can of Sterno under a chaffing dish.

“You’re lucky Billy.” Colton said. “She waited a little over twenty-four hours.”

Tippy patted the side of her lips with her napkin. “I have no idea what you all are talking about.” She placed the napkin on her plate. “Now let me see pictures of my gran…your little girl.”

Billy smiled pulling out his wallet. “I may have one or two.”

“Oh she’s a little angel.” Tippy cooed after snatching one from his hands.

“That’s just the light. She’s a little hellion.” Ian said.

“Oh pooh!” Tippy said. “How could anything with a face that sweet?”

“He’s right.” Billy admitted. “My baby girl’s a doll, but the doll’s name is Chuckie. She’s into everything.”

“She’s just four.” Reese said. “Granted, a handful, but she’ll grow out of it.”

“What’s her name again?” Tippy asked handing one of the pictures to Colton.

“Vonda Rae.” Billy said. “We call her Vonnie.”

“That’s an interesting name.” Colton said. “Family names?”

Ian grinned and looked at Billy. “Tell ‘em…Billyboy. I can’t wait for that reaction.” He saw it register on Billy’s face. Ian reached across the table and removed the glasses in front of Billy and Tippy.

“Donna named her after her two favorite…” Billy wasn’t sure about going on.

Reese got it, too. He was grinning ear to ear. “Go on…if you don’t tell her you know Vonnie will.”

“Tell me what?” Tippy said.

Billy finally just spit it out. “Donna named her after her two favorite Miss Americas.”

Tippy just beamed. “Why that’s so sweet. Which two?”

The men in the room busted out laughing, all finally in on the joke.

“What’sa funny?” Tippy asked.

Ian gathered some composure. “Tippy I love you.”

“I love you, too, Baby Doll. Now what’sa funny?”

Billy wiped tears from his tears. “Vonda Kaye Van Dyke and…”

“Oh she’s a sweetheart. We have lunch every once and a while.” Tippy reached for some toast and smeared some apple butter on it. “Do you think Vonnie’d like to go with us sometime? Oh, what am I saying? Of course, she would.” She munched her toast. “Okay, Vonda and….I can’t think of a Miss America named Rae…well that girl who had the Hawaiian name. Is that the one?”

Of course the men all convulsed again. “Okay, you boys are just bein’ mean.” Tippy tossed her toast on the plate and crossed her arms.

Colton looked at his wife. “Sorry, we can’t help it…Mamie Rae!”

“She’s named after me?” Tippy squealed. “Its just fate! My first grand daughter was named after me and she didn’t even know I was destined to be her granny!” She hugged Billy till he turned blue. “Oh let’s call her. Let’s call her right now!”

“Hold on Granny.” Colton snapped her attention. “Just calm down. Let the boys, and the little doll rest a little bit. You’ve got plenty of time. Just finish your breakfast.”

Tippy held up her hands. “You’re right, Poppy. You’re right.” She picked up her fork. “But next time you call her, tell her we send our love.”

“Of course.” Billy was started to get his breathing back.

“I just can’t believe she was named after me.”

“It took Donna two weeks to decide between Vonda Rae and Mamie Kaye. I was just getting used to calling her M.K. when she switched it up on me and went in the other direction.”

“Either way, it was better than what you wanted to name her.” Ian snorted.

Billy looked up from his pancakes. “I thought Petra D’lynne was pretty.”

“Petra D’Lynne?” Tippy said. She looked at Billy and then to Reese. “When you two have children of your own, keep this man away from the birth certificate.”

“Tippy, let the boys get past the you’re so hot let’s screw stage before you go bouncing their babies on your knees.” Colton told her.

Billy only coughed on that one. Reese smiled. “Besides, I don’t think either one of us quite have child bearing hips.”

“You know what I mean.” Tippy said. “Now tell me, Billy…”

“Oh hear we go…” Colton got up from the table. “I’ll be outside.”

“Are both your parents still alive?” He nodded. “I bet they spoil her rotten.”

“Billy’s from a pretty big family.” Ian said. “He’s the eighth of twelve.”

“Twelve?” Tippy almost spit her food out.

“I only remember my Mom pregnant until I was well in to high school.” Billy started to take a drink but thought he’d wait just a while longer. “All but me and my younger sister, already have bushels of kids. At this point my parents think the grandkids are gnats they have to buy Christmas presents for.”

“And they’ve already get what five great grandkids?” Ian asked.

“Seven.” Billy told him. “Junie’s oldest just had twins. First in the family.”

“In a hundred years the Jarvis’s won’t be a family, they’ll be a minority.” Ian put a lid on a large chaffing pan. He looked at the clock and back to the table. “Okay, down to business. Breakfast is taken care of. Let’s talk lunch. Billy…”

He put down his fork. “I think those old refrigerator shelves will work, and Kellen found some more cinder blocks. So we’re good to go.”

“You have enough burlap bags?” Ian asked as he checked down his list.

“Eight of them. We shouldn’t need that many. All I need is an hour once I get the fire started.” He went back to finishing up his plate.

“I got the permit.” Reese added. “We got the corn ready last night. Jesse and I have set up all the rental stuff. You just need to come out and check it.”

“Oh, I already did.” Tippy said. “It looks just fine.” She picked some chocolate off a donut. “But I know the rules, you come out and check again. Do you need me to take the corn over to my house and boil it? I can do that when I go over for the cheesecakes and the rest of the desserts.”

“Thanks, Tippy, but no.” Ian checked a few more things off his list. “We’re going to roast it, the old fashioned way.”

“You can slaughter a pig and roast corn?” Tippy smiled.

“Well, yes, but the man who taught me how to roast it, is sitting right beside you. Why get an amateur when the pro is on the premises?”

Tippy looked at Billy. “I’m just gonna put this bluntly. If it doesn’t work out between you and Reese, I have another son.”

Billy looked up at Ian. “That’s comforting…I think I’ll run outside and see if there is anything else out there that needs to be done.”

“Okay, that leaves you two with me.” Ian said ripping out pages from his notebook for each of them.

Tippy and Reese cleaned up from breakfast, while Billy, Jesse and Colton helped moved furniture from the Shores backyard to Ian’s. Ronnie was on garbage detail, picking up whatever trails anyone left behind.

Tippy supervised where everything should go, and then Ian moved it. In plenty of time it looked as though there would be enough for a crowd of fifty or more to eat, relax and brainstorm in comfort.

Just before 9 am, Ian filled a large bowl full of Cheetos, while a protesting Tippy watched. He placed them on the table with everything else. When the first doorbell rang he was pleased to see Wella and Blake show up in jeans and tees. He smiled at Tippy as Wella made a beeline to the Cheetos and filled her plate full.

“A very wise and sexy Miss America once said during an interview a little poor boy watched on a friend’s TV—a good host always knows what their guests enjoy.” Ian boasted as he pranced past Tippy and opened a cabinet door that had been hiding two huge plates of chocolate doughnuts.

Tippy slitted her eyes. “You told me I ate them all!”

“And a wise farmer always knows where to hide the feed bag from the hog!” They laughed and finished up making Ian’s special potato salad. And the party began….

One by one Ian’s team trickled in, by ten o’clock almost everyone was there, many with dates, spouses or significant others. Ian was pleased that so many showed up and was delighted to meet their families. He was even more pleased that he had ‘family’ to introduce as well.

It seemed people were all over the place, chatting, eating and just enjoying what turned out to be an absolutely beautiful California morning. Ian had long gotten tired of opening the front door and finally just left it open. He was just refilling a pan of scrambled eggs and contemplating putting out “lunchier” foods when he heard a familiar happy voice say…

“Knock. Knock.” He turned to see Susan and Jeremy Tyson, two little boys in tow, smiling before him.

Ian immediately hugged them both. “I am so glad that you made it!”

Jeremy got down to his son’s level and said, “And I have some people here that want to meet you. Boys this Ronnie’s Papa, Ian this is Jeremy, Jr…”.

“Please. Mr. Ian, call me J.J.” The little blonde man stuck his hand out and gave Ian a very surprising mature handshake. “I’m five.”

“And this one is Charlie. Charlie say hello to Mr. Ian”

“He’s our shy one…” Susan nodded quietly.

Ian crouched down and rubbed the little boy’s jet black hair. “Hello Charlie it’s so great to meet you…” Ian was stunned at how much he looked like his father right down to the square jaw and the unruly mop of hair.

“You, too.” He mumbled and mushed his face into his father’s shoulder.

“Mr. Ian, can we go play in your back yard?”

“Of course, Ronnie’s out there somewhere.” He pointed toward the kitchen door. “Just go right through there. Be sure and ask Miss Tippy to get you both a donut. I’m sure she has some hidden somewhere.”

Four eyes lit up and they squealed for the door.

“Boys!” Jeremy barked. The boys stopped dead in their tracks. “Turn around and listen to Daddy for a minute.” They did, looking at each other’s feet, Charlie trying to hide a blue blankey behind him. “You don’t get into anything.”

“We won’t Daddy.” J.J. promised, Charlie nodding his head in agreement. They turned to make a made dash for the door.

“Ah ah! One more thing. Look at Daddy and repeat after me…We will have naked time when we go home, not before.”

Both boys sighed and kicked the floor. “Say it with Daddy, we will have…

“…naked time when we go home, not before.” The boys repeated verbatim and then ran out the door.

Susan turned to Jeremy. “That will last twenty minutes.”

Jeremy got up off his knees and grinned sheepishly. “They’re boys, can’t keep ‘em in clothes. Don’t know where that comes from…”

Susan looked at Ian incredulously, “Haven’t a clue. Looks like you’ve got a houseful. I hope the boys—all three of them---won’t be more than you can handle.” Susan apologized.

“Oh no, I can handle it. Tippy Shores is my neighbor.” He saw Jeremy smile. “Just relax and have a great day with the rest of us.

They heard the sliding glass doors open, and Billy strode in carrying an empty pan. “Hey, Ian, here’s another empty. Should I clean it and start filling it with the cold cuts?”

“Probably a good idea. Billy I want you to meet to friends of mine, this is Jeremy Tyson and his wife Susan Andrews. Jeremy, Susan—my best buddy Billy.”

Jeremy shook Billy’s hand and Susan extended hers. Billy kissed it. “It is such a pleasure to meet you. I’ve been a fan of both of you for so long. I couldn’t believe it when Ian told me that he’d actually met you…”

J.J. came buzzing to the door, already down to his Spiderman underpants. “Daddy! Mr. Ian has a big dog. Can we play with him?”

Billy and Ian looked at each other, “Ralphie”.

“Neighbor’s setter, always finding a way to get out of the house.” Ian told them. “He’s harmless.”

“Okay” Jeremy said, “but be careful.” He said and the boy was off like a shot. Jeremy quickly yelled. “And don’t try to ride him!” Susan looked at her husband. “I’d better go out there…” he headed for the door.

“Honey?” Susan called after him. Jeremy stopped and turned to her. “Repeat after me…we will have naked time when we get home and not before….” Jeremy rolled his eyes. “I mean it!” Susan warned and Jeremy scampered out to find his children.

“That’ll last an hour---tops!” Susan sighed.

Ian laughed and then heard another familiar voice. “Sounds as if I’d arrived a few minutes later I’d be over dressed.”

Standing before Ian and his little group was a smiling Pearce Warner, dressed in a white Polo shirt and smart Bermuda shorts. He thrust out his hand and Ian shook it. Ian introduced him to Susan. Pearce smiled broadly introduced himself to Billy.

Just then Ian saw Tippy turn and make an announcement just outside the door, “Alright everybody, if you are under eight nudity in this pool is permitted, otherwise go next door,” she said as Susan looked for a place to hide.

“Is that long or around, Miss Tippy?” Some one asked.

“And that means you, Colton Shores!” She said.

“Gawdang!”

“I’d better get out there.” Susan excused herself as Tippy came in.

“Sweetie, you came!” Tippy kissed Pearce on each cheek.

“Of course, I did. How could anyone in their right minds turn down a Saturday with the Ian Justyn, and you to boot?”

“Flatterer.” Tippy shook Pearce’s hand. “Let me walk you around like my prized pig.”

More people showed up. The rest of the morning and early afternoon was filled with introductions and chit chat, even Kellen came by and joined in. Ian was pleased that the mysterious blonde had finally been introduced to everyone, and Kellen seemed happy to finally be a part of the neighbor clan, Ralphie having long since been a staple.

Stomachs finally satiated, and cliques merged, remerged and reformed finally leading to the office team seated on various devices around one end of the pool. Someone brought up the morning program and someone asked a newcomer for an opinion.

Without a beat, the man said, “Too boxed in.”

Without Ian’s prompting someone ‘encouraged’…”Explain”

Another person said, “It’s like having someone read the newspaper to you.”

“And they are sleepier than you!” Another chimed in to chuckles.

“What about the anchors?” Ian asked.

“The guy’s kind of like your Granddad, but the woman she’s kind of…of…”

“Severe!”

“Yeah, that’s the word. She’s young-ish but she makes me think I’ll get smacked if I don’t eat all my gruel.”

“Hmmm…” Ian said, “Maybe we have more of a problem than I thought.”

Daryn’s boyfriend piped in, “Now I don’t need to see cleavage and red lipstick during my news, but it would be nice to watch someone who looked they there were enjoying delivering it to me.”

“Make it just a little more exciting.” Blake’s new boyfriend chirped in. “And once and a while could it just make me feel good…without making me feel dumb?”

Pearce asked, “What do you mean by that?”

“Well, I think that news people, and politicians, try to be so extremely intelligent they forget that I don’t always want my mind expanded first thing in the morning. Hell, I just want to ease into it when I can and not have run to my dictionary.”

“Yeah, when they do do a…what do you call it…a fluff piece, does is it have to be so condescending? It may make me smile for ninety seconds or so, but as soon as they cut back to the studio the looks on their faces makes me feel like my mama just caught me in the can with Daddy’s Playboy!”

“Do ya even need a regular anchor?” Tippy asked, “Maybe just a series of reporters for variety. That might keep it fresh.”

“I don’t know. It is nice to see familiar faces…”

“Yeah, when you turn on the TV you’re inviting someone into your home, and first thing in the morning you want to feel comfortable with the faces when you’re sitting on the commode and running around in your underwear.”

Pearce laughed out loud, “I suddenly have a whole new image of the audience in my head.” Everyone laughed. “What about a regular anchor reporting from different places without a permanent set?”

One of the women piped in, “Does it always have to be Darfour or in front of the latest terrorist attack? Couldn’t it be just regular places?”

Pearce was thinking, “You mean like a park in Arkansas or a State Fair somewhere?”

“Yeah. Like that, show me the real America while you are telling me about the world!”

“What about a regular anchor that travels around the country?” Wella thought. “Maybe staying a week in one place and using locals the help with the lighter stuff, like interviewing the librarian about the town’s history or helping the bake off winner make her recipe on the air?”

“Using unseasoned locals may be too risky.” Ian added.

Daryn had a bright idea, “What about scheduling affiliates and using the local anchors and promising college students? HRT gives a fortune in broadcasting scholarships, maybe choosing the best of those and using them in rotation.”

“Not bad” Ian said taking a sip from his tea, “Inexpensive and involving the affiliates guarantees huge ratings in the region, maybe even adding regular viewers if they like what they see.”

Billy even piped in, “What about even using the public occasionally, Mister You Tube?”

Ian blushed and everyone laughed.

“Actually that’s not a bad idea.” Came an unfamiliar voice from the doorway. Everyone turned to see a round woman in jeans and a conservative buttoned up shirt.

“Trish.” Ian smiled, “So glad you made it.”

“Looks like I got here just in time for the work part.”

“Yes, you did” Ian said, “You were saying?”

“Well, Al Gore and a partner have started a news service that allows the public to down load visual bites of news events as they happen. They can edit them together however they see fit and upload them back to the site where others can in turn watch them. The best of them get picked up for the on air feed and pay an anomaly of around fifty to one hundred and fifty bucks, more if picked up by other news services.”

“But wouldn’t that format be copy written?” Ian asked.

Blake knew that answer, “Can’t be, it’s the same principal behind You Tube, MySpace etcetera etcetera….”

Ian and Pearce exchanged looks. “We’d have to be careful about misinformation, anything used from an outside source would need to be heavily screened and fact checked.”

For the next hour ideas were brought up, cemented, abandoned and then brought back up. People joining in the foray and wandering back out as people cliqued off and conversed about various aspects they wanted to dwell on. More food was put out and children, the dog and the cat were chased around, the children in various states of undress.

By the time a pull-up less Charlie crawled in Ian’s lap and went to sleep a new “America Alive!”, one that hopefully lived up to its name, was born. The bulk of the broadcast would be done from various locations around the US giving the viewer’s an in depth look at the area it was broadcast from. Ian just now had to decide which of the two anchors already with the show remained.

Work was done, but the guests were just getting to know one another and there was so much more food. Ian offered Susan one of the downstairs bedrooms to let the boys have their nap. He noticed that small groups could occasionally be seen stepping back through the shrubs, probably to smoke or take Tippy up on her earlier offer of getting naked in the pool.