Ian had already filled enough chafing dishes to feed an army when Tippy and company arrived. There were buttermilk pancakes, scrambled eggs, link sausages, bacon, and biscuits with red gravy. He was working on frying the last of the ham when the entire work crew just started grabbing plates and pulling up to the table.
“Biscuits and gravy! I’m coming over here for breakfast every morning!” Colton drooled as he heaped a warm plate full. “Inez is a great cook, but Puerto Rico is just a little too Southern when it comes to biscuits and gravy.”
“I’m not finished yet!” Ian complained as the group got in his way.
“Well don’t stop, keep it coming!” Reese said shoving a handful of bacon into his mouth.
“I don’t believe it!” Tippy gushed as she picked up a doughnut from a plate. “You did all this cooking and still managed to run out to Dunkin Donuts.”
“He hasn’t left the house and neither have I”, Billy informed her as he sprinkled grated cheese on his eggs. “Ian you got ketchup?”
“In the fridge…” Ronnie offered. “I’ll get it.”
Tippy’s eyes rolled back in her head and she tasted the powdered delight. “Mmmmm, and this is fresh. I know good and well this didn’t come from that convenience store on the corner. Baby Doll, where did you get these?”
Ian shot her a look and tapped his spatula on a deep fryer still cooling off from a morning’s heat. “The chocolate covered ones are on plate in the fridge.” Ronnie was practically dismembered trying to get ketchup.
“You got some coffee to go with this?” Colton pointed at his well-piled plate.
“I forgot….”
Jesse perked up from his trough position. “You put out a breakfast spread like this and forgot coffee?”
“Ian’s not a coffee drinker…” Billy noted, “Trust me. Don’t ask him to make it.”
“I’ll do it.” Tippy headed toward the coffee maker and searched the counter over for the coffee. She opened the vat and started to reach in to replace the filter.
Ian’s little head spun around. “Do not violate my coffee maker with coffee again, please!” Ian reached under the counter and pulled out a brand new one still in the box. “Do whatever you wish with this one.”
Tippy smiled and began to open the box. “Sorry, Baby Doll,” and hummed on her happy little coffee making way.
“Uhm…” Reese whispered to Billy, “What does he use the coffee maker for if you aren’t allowed to put coffee in it?”
“Tea,” he whispered back like the kid next to him during a test, “He makes tea in it.”
“Holy…” Colton slumped back in his chair. “This is real Virginia Ham.”
“What do you think I made the red eye gravy out of?” Ian asked.
“Where did you get Virginia Ham?” Tippy said, “And don’t you be telling me you slaughtered a pig in the basement and cured it in the garage.”
“Well, no, but I could…I have a basement?” Ian was surprised and curious.
“Yes you have a basement, now where’d ja get the ham?” Tippy demanded.
“Okay, okay….gees…” he pointed to Billy.
“Billy slaughtered a pig and cured it in the basement?” She asked
“No but I could…Ian has a basement? Why haven’t you shown me the basement?” He asked Ian.
“I didn’t know I had one. Miss Elizabeth didn’t tell me about that and I thought she showed me the whole house.”
Reese piped in, “Oh, yeah, I don’t think anyone’s been down there for years. The entrance is off the garage. There used be a door out…”
“Who gives a rat’s ass about the damned basement? Billy where did you get the Virginia ham?” Tippy waved a sharp knife in his direction.
“The Abingdon Virginia Ham Company.”
“Where’s that?”
“Abingdon….”
She slammed the ball of the knife on the table.
He blinked “…Virginia. I bought two as a gift for Ian and smuggled ‘em in my suitcase on the plane. Ian sliced it up and froze the other one.”
Tippy scooted her chair back. “I’ll just check on that coffee now…”
“Tippy…?” Ian didn’t bother looking up from his breakfast.
“Yes, Baby Doll?”
“Get away from the freezer…”
“Oh, honey, I was just going to stick my breasts in there. Colton always likes it when my nipples are perky…”
“Mom….” Jesse rolled his eyes, “We’re eating…”
Ian threatened, “I am not above sticking my hands in your brassiere and checking for ham.”
Tippy feigned insult, putting her hand to her chest bone. “Why Ian Justyn…I…” she thought for a second and smiled, “why I no longer need to put my breasts in the freezer. Nipples quite perky, thank you, Baby Doll.”
“Oh god…” Jesse picked up his plate, returning momentarily for the plate of chocolate doughnuts and retreated outside by the pool.
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