BOOK ONE: DECEPTIONS
Chapters One to Twenty Six
Vignettes 1 - 140

BOOK TWO: YESTERDAY ECHOES
Chapters 27 to
Vignettes 141 -

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Vignette #69: Graveside

Reese put the painting in the back seat of the car and they slipped on their suits for the service. Kyle was right. The only people who were there were the Osbournes, Reese and Ian, and of course Preacher Snowdon from the Baptist Church at the foot of the mountain.

They stood around an already covered grave as the Preacher said words that were quickly eaten by the wind. He was well into something Ian wasn’t able to concentrate on when he heard the crunch crunch of footsteps behind him. He turned to see a graying Jude standing behind him, head bowed reverently as the service continued.

The preacher finally folded his Bible and shook Ian’s hand and told him he would pray for him. Ian smiled and handed him a small white envelope that probably contained more hundred dollar bills than had ever been in the man’s collection plate.

“Aunt Hil always said the church needed a baptistery. She said that more people would come to Jesus if they didn’t have to be dipped in the cold creek out back of the church. This should do it. Thank you sir.”

“Bless you child…” the old black man said and looked in the envelope. “Praise be to you son…praise be to you.”

The five, now six, just stood there a moment. Ian wished he could cry or say something. He felt Jude’s hand on his shoulder and a rare sweet memory came flooding back. It was the first hymn that Ian had ever played for Aunt Hil, for anyone. It was a song that he had heard her sing time and time again.

Ian took a step forward and began to sing with the old woman in his head, “Wherever he leads I’ll go….wherever he leads I’ll go….I’ll follow my Christ who loves me so…wherever he leads I’ll go….”

He felt little Ronnie take his hand and start singing with him. By the time they got to the chorus again everyone was singing, even Jude. Ian ached, but tears still refused to come. It was a though his heart had already been broken in so many pieces it just didn’t work any more or maybe, he thought, never worked at all to begin with.

When the song was done, Ian squatted down and placed a bouquet of simple yellow roses on the mound of dirt. He kissed his fingers and lay them there on the grave. He couldn’t say anything. He just couldn’t figure out how to thank the one of the only two people in the world who made a scared little boy want to even try to grow into a man. All he could do was just stare into the little marks his fingers had made in the dry earth.

“Daddy, are you gonna join us fer supper?” Ian heard Janie quietly ask.

“Sure, honey, but Ian and I need ta talk first.” He heard Jude say.

Ian heard a rustle of hands shaking. Reese introduced himself and offered to let him ride back with he and Ian.

“That’s awful kind of you, I appreciate it.” Jude said. He turned to his daughter. “Honey, why don’t you all go on, and we’ll be there directly.” He heard him kiss her on the cheek and the little family walk to the car.

“Ian said he wanted to go right over to Miss Hilary’s house and look ‘round. I’ll meet ya’ll there.” He heard her say.

“That’s fine.” Jude told her.

“Law, it’s so dry the grass is like ice…” He heard Janie complain. “We need some rain so bad…” and then the car do shut.

Jude got down and put his arm around Ian’s shoulder. “You know boy, sometimes being a man is knowing you are strong enough to be weak.” He jostled him. “She loved you more’n anything, boy. She was so proud of ya, so proud she just couldn’t say the words…”

“I loved her, too…” and finally a painful little tear rolled down Ian’s cheek. “I don’t how I’d a lived, Jude…so many times…without her…” and the tears softly flowed like the much needed rain. Ian turned to look at Jude. “And you…”

Ian’s throat hurt with each sob but his heart started to beat. It was as if the pain released allowed him to finally breath. He and Jude struggled hard to let it go, there were so many hard times and too little good to remember. Aunt Hil had always said that someday the peace would come; maybe that was her final gift to Ian.

Jude wiped his face with his hand. “Let’s go sit over here and talk.” He helped Ian up and the walked arm in arm to a nearby oak, twisted and towering and still naked in the dry spring. Staying true to his word, Reese leaned against the car, two hundred feet from Ian, but not out of sight.

Jude sat beside Ian on the grass and leaned against the trunk of the old Oak. “I don’t know all the answers boy, don’t know that Miz Hil knowed em all either. Most she took with her, but I’ll tell you everything I can…” Jude said as if he was ashamed.

Ian nodded his head. He thought he knew the answer to his first question, but had to ask himself. “Are you my Daddy?”

Jude sobbed. “Oh how I wish I was, boy. How I wish I was…” He controlled himself. “Miz Hil begged me to take ya when I got home, but I didn’t.”

“Why didn’t you Jude? Didn’t you love me?” Ian asked, not accusingly, but as a small child wanting to know why he was being left behind.

“Loved you with all my heart…that’s why I didn’t take you. Maybe I could have made things a little easier fer ya, but I knew Ian…I knew…”

“Knew what?”

“That there was more for you than this…” he put his hands out to the dry grass and the root of the dying old tree. “It was fine for my girls and me, but if I took ya in, that’s all ya ever would have had.”

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