Ian’s intercom buzzed. Blake’s voice rang out. “Jeff Torkelson on line three, Boss Man.”
Ian pressed what he hoped was the right button. “Thank you.”
Turner smiled. “I’ll let you get back to real work. Let me know when the hookers arrive.”
“What?” Blake’s voice said.
“Uhm…I said thank you.”
“No. You put me on speaker phone.” Blake giggled. “The button beside it and pick up the phone before you hit line three or you’ll cut him off.”
“Can we just get some cans and string?”
“Face it, Boss Man, you’re a whiz at everything, except anything electronic. You’re kind of a moron in that department.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Any time.” Blake said. “And some one waiting to see you when you get off the phone.”
“’Kay.” Ian picked up the phone at hit the right button. “Jeff?”
“Ian.” Torkelson’s voice seemed almost relieved.
“I’m still on speaker phone.” Blake said.
“Hold on Jeff.” Ian started to push buttons. “If I cut you off, call back.” He pushed some more buttons.
“Still here.” Blake said.
“Crap.” Ian hissed. “I think I broke it.”
“What else is new?” Blake sighed. “I’ll be right in.”
“Jeff? Are you still there at least?”
“Yeah, having a great time actually.” Ian could swear he was laughing. “Can you tie your own shoes?”
“I don’t know. Mommy buys me velcro tabs.” Ian looked up as Blake came in and went straight for the phone system on Ian’s desk. “So what’s up?”
“Save me.” Jeff said.
“Say three hail Marys and give to the poor.” Blake shoved Ian out of his chair. “Or we could just take a meeting.”
“Can we do the meeting? I’m Jewish.”
“I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to part the Red Sea.”
“But didn’t you do it once before?”
“Just a rumor.” Ian tried to keep out of Blake’s way. “I’m taking my son to that new family hamburger joint tonight for dinner.”
“You got a kid?”
“Yes.”
“How’d you get a kid?”
“Uhm…the normal way?”
“He’s got a cat, too!” Blake said. Ian gave him a dirty look and hit a button on the phone just to get even.
“I didn’t know.”
“Long story…anyway, I thought you might join us. Just have a guy night and see what we can figure out.”
“Trying to impress the kid by introducing me, huh?”
“No offense, but he probably has no idea who you are.”
“You just take him out of the box or something?”
“Sort of.” Ian said as Blake snickered. “Long story. I thought tonight we could get together and chat informally before we start being seen in the office and starting rumors. Bring the wife, we’ll make it a family affair.”
“The wife doesn’t do red meat.”
“I’m thinking divorce.”
“Long story.” Jeff said.
“Touche,” Ian vollied back. “Meet us tonight around 7?”
“You got it. You buy the burgers, I’ll buy the beer.”
“I’ll buy the burgers, no beer for my son or me.”
“Afraid you’ll rip off your shirt and start to dance?”
“Afraid I’ll turn blue and end up in the hospital. I’m allergic to hops.”
“Bummer.”
“Doesn’t bother me. If I want something cold that tastes like that I’ll urinate in a cup and refrigerate it.”
“Can I have beer?”
“Sure, as long as you don’t rip off your shirt and start to dance.”
“My abs are pretty hot.”
“Unless I can scrub my socks on them, I don’t really care.”
“Kinky.”
“Seven?”
“Seven.”
“Just put down the phone and step away.” Blake said frustrated. “Don’t touch anything.”
Ian gently put the phone in the cradle, held up both hands and took two steps backward. “I’m sorry.”
“Honestly Ian, you are like that wizard in the ‘Dresden Files’. You come within five feet of anything electronic and it implodes.”
“If it’s any comfort, I’m not real good at Yatzee either.”
“Go away before I kill you.” Blake pointed toward the door.
“Are you throwing me out of my office?”
“You choose. The door or the balcony.” Blake picked up the whole phone box and started unplugging cords. “Lance Crockett is waiting for you by my desk.”
Ian rolled his eyes. “The balcony, I choose the balcony.”
“Go!” Blake pointed toward the door. “And play nice. I just had the carpet cleaned.”
“You’re no fun at all.” Blake pointed again at the door. “Okay…okay.”
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